Who was there by your side when you stepped into 2015? Not that it matters. In my case, it shouldn't have.
We had four tickets for the Willie Nelson concert but only three people. We arrived early at the Moody Theater. When we passed by a small group of people standing outside, an elderly man asked us, "Willie Nelson tickets?" We didn't stop. He turned around to his group and concluded, "they don't understand English!" I said with raised voice, we understand English, but we have tickets already. The man burst into laughter. So did I. I do like the general good mood of the people here, regardless of the degree of authenticity. The "how are y'all doing today" with a large smile every time, even if they don't expect any answer. We sold the fourth ticket for 1/4 of the price to a ticket dealer, because why not. I would have invited the hilarious Uber driver on our way there, but he didn't take us seriously. I don't think he takes anything seriously. Actually I would have invited anyone, but who would be all alone on a New Year's Eve? I mean, at least they wouldn't be walking around so audaciously to aggravate their sense of loneliness. At some point, as people gradually filled the seats after the show started, a guy came to the seat next to mine, alone. Before he even sat down, he introduced himself as Robert and asked for our names. He reminded me of Russell in Almost Famous, but more handsome. He was wearing a dark red leather jacket, slim jeans and pointed-toe boots. He has a slender figure and long curly hair. He said he's from somewhere near Fort Worth. Do you know Fort Worth? I nodded. We had a no more than ten-minute conversation, and I'd already learned more than enough about his life. You're very smart, he said. He also said I should move to Austin because of how awesome Austin is. I meant to ask whether he bought the ticket from the ticket dealer out on the street or he chose where to sit at random, but I didn't. He kept offering to buy us something to drink. When Willie Nelson finally came out on the stage, they started the New Year countdown. he came back with a beer in his hand and gave each of us a happy new year hug. The only happy new year hug I got for my 2015. Gotta remember that for a while. When Willie started singing Angels Flying Too Close To The Ground, Robert asked if I knew all these songs, and then held me with his right arm throughout the song. Would I have preferred to be somewhere else with someone else? I doubt it. Would someone have preferred to be there with me? I doubt it. Everyone is in the moment and place where he or she is supposed to be. But actually at least this friend from my hometown must have preferred that. He sends me a message every other day, expressing how much he misses me and loves me. Practically since middle school. He's unhappily married with a kid. I never understood it but now as I grow older, I try to empathize. He said, I just want you to know that someone's thinking of you. He said, do you want to be the mother of my daughter. Quite a few people asked me to go somewhere or stay somewhere with them. Quite a few people would have happily and gratefully shared a life with me if I had given nothing but the consensus. And then most of them got married and settled down, and I'm still alone on a new year's eve. Well technically I was not alone; I had two good friends and a man with a dark red leather jacket on each side. And I'm not saying that being alone is not what I want after all. The only person with whom I would have rather been was somewhere smiling humbly to some woman in some glamorous palace, and he said to me, you should always insist a bit more. You must think I'm out of my mind. The other day I had a conversation with a friend, and we agreed upon the fact that we have got to stop making every critical life decision wrong. I said he should come to Austin. He said he had to fly to Chicago, together with another wrong life decision. Many friends asked me about new year resolutions. On one hand, I don't want to make any because I never follow them. On the other hand, this bestselling book I picked up at the airport about Habit told me that it's absolutely viable to form a new habit or overwrite an old one. I'm gonna work on that after I finish my report. See, procrastination again. The photographer friend who's traveling with me just handed me a collection of his photography works as a new year gift. I suddenly want to cry. We said goodbye hastily after the show was over. I said, happy new year. He said, happy new year. He has a very well-structured face, despite the intrusive hair. Then we left. While we were waiting for a car, I saw Robert with his dark red leather jacket across the street. He was just standing there, all by himself, as if waiting for someone, but unsure who that would be. For a minute, he didn't seem to move. Then he suddenly took some decisive strides towards a certain direction, vanishing into the night. You were always on my mind. Willie Nelson sang. I was not as sad as I thought I'd be.
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